WITHOUT A BANG

© طاھر

There was a great fireworks display on the banks of the Thames two days ago to celebrate the New Year. I must confess the child in me is still fascinated by this kind of shows. There is something in these flowers of light, blossoming into the night in perfect synchronisation, and then fading away to be replaced by one even more beautiful, that strikes a chord in me.

However, my appreciation of pyrotechnics does not extend to the firecrackers that some retarded adolescents like to explode until the small hours every night, for about a week after New Year. These tend to wake up the grumpy old man in me instead; sometimes quite literally, at about three in the morning. On those occasions, I try to while away my moments of wakefulness by devising punishments I would like to inflict on the offenders (okay, I may be a bit harsh there, but in my defence, it takes some doing to wake me up at that time of night).

Well, the women of Naples have proved more creative than me. They are so fed up by the accidents provoked every year by illegal fireworks and firecrackers, that they have decided to withhold sex unless their partners (apparently, like weapons, it's a male thing) promise to clean up their act. So, gentlemen, what about spending New Year's eve in Naples next year? With all these women going without sex, you might get lucky. And if you don't, at least you'll sleep well...