MY NEW BEST FRIEND

I have to apologise for not posting last week. Oh, come on! Tell me at least that you've noticed it! Better still, tell me that you have been coming every day, your little heart beating fast as the page was loading, hoping to see some new words of wisdom, and then unable to hold back a sigh of disappointment when the same Valentine post was immuably displayed. Of course, it was a very good post, but you must have started to worry, wondering if some disaster had not occured. Maybe I had finally decided to have a date on Valentine's day, and one week later, we were still at it like little bunnies? (Wait, that one is hardly a disaster...) Or maybe some irate representative of the card or velvet chocolate box industry decided to get rid of a trouble-maker before his message reached too wide an audience. Or maybe the poor performance of France in the VI nations tournament finally got to me, and I had decided to leave this valley of tears before they embarrass themselves irredeemably (by far the most likely scenario; as it happens however, France did beat Scotland last week-end - but only just).

Well, it is my sad duty to announce that disaster did indeed strike, a disaster much more terrible than any of these scenarios could foresee. Last Sunday, I lost my closest companion, my confident, my constant support, my friend of every moment, prematurely taken from me in the midst of a blissful relationship. In short, I have lost my PDA-phone. You may scoff, but that just shows you are not the proud owner of one of these jewels of modern technology. Otherwise, you would measure how life-changing such gadgets are; in fact, they are about as much of an improvement over a regular mobile phone, as the mobile phone itself was over the fixed version.

Indeed, not only did I have there all my contacts (not just their phone number, but their address, their spouse's name, and even in some case their photo, should I forget what they look like...), my appointments, my notes, my to-do list, my messages, but that phone was doubling up as an MP3 player; a video player for those long plane trips; a notepad (an actual one, where you can scribble handwritten notes, or even sketches); a wallet with photos of loved ones as well as all my passwords and confidential information; a dictaphone; a calculator; a converter (not just currency: seriously, who can be deranged enough to measure weight in stones and pounds?); loads of dictionnaries and other books, including the complete works of Jane Austen and a searchable King James Bible (I actually had to use the latter recently...); plenty of games, most of them coming with a willing and gifted playmate; a GPS navigation system usable in-car or on foot anywhere in Western Europe, a camera/camcorder, a backup remote for my TV, and of course an Internet access should I get bored. Now, if I had to carry all of that in my pocket, my slim and elegant figure may somewhat suffer, not to mention my back.

Can you see now why I have been in mourning for the past week? I am inconsolable. Or I would be if I hadn't found already a worthy replacement for my departed friend. That one has all of the above, or will when I transfer all the documents back from my PC, and it is slimmer, more elegant, has a larger screen and an integrated FM radio. Call me fickle, but I think I am in love again...